It Works! It Works!

My blog has been giving me fits lately! I keep getting these really crappy error messages and it won't let me write. :( But now, obviously, it's working again, and I have so.much.to.say. As usual we've been busy. We are always SO busy. I hate it. What happened to the days where all I did was go to a couple of classes, take a nap, lay out by the pool, and hang out with my friends? Ahhh...college. If you haven't been, I highly suggest you try it. I've even heard it's possible to learn a few things while you're there, but I'm sure my parents would argue that point. Here is a brief synopsis of life in The Hysterical District. (I was planning on writing a whole in-depth story but I was so shocked that I could actually post something my mind has now gone completely blank. Kind of like when you walk into a room and forget why you came in the first place) Charlotte is now in daycare full time. Our beloved nanny had a stroke about a month ago so we had to make other arrangements. Thankfully she is relatively okay, but she will have to have some pretty intense therapy and is therefore unable to keep Charlotte. :( It was rough to say the least. Now I know what all the other working moms were talking about when they left their newborn at daycare - it's heartbreaking and scary. It was rough in the beginning, but she seems to really like it now. She isn't a morning person at all. Wonder where she gets that? And she is a BIG fan of lounging on the couch in her pjs for a few hours while watching cartoons, drinking juice, and eating Cheerios. Again...where does she get that?! The whole entire house has come down with a nasty stomach bug. Or The Plague as I like to call it. Daycare has turned her into a walking Petri dish of bacteria and funk, which she will inevitably bring home to her loved ones. Ugh. There's been a ton of other really funny things happening lately, but I will have to tell you about it all later. How's that for a cliffhanger?

Happy Birthday Charlotte Day!

Charlotte Day Carrigan, today is your second birthday! You are the sweetest, cutest, funniest little gal I ever had the pleasure of giving birth to.

People always say "You'll never know how much you could love someone until you have a child" and boy were they right! Having you in our lives has made us realize what true love is really about. Growing up, your Mimi (my mom) warned me that one day I would have a daughter and God would pay me back for all the grief I caused her.

And she was right. You are just as strong willed and independent as I am, which doesn't bode well for us in about 11 years. But for right now, on your second birthday, I'm just gonna focus on what an absolute blessing you are.

-You are VERY independent, and you don't want me to hold your hand or help you do anything. You so desperately want to be a "Big Girl" like the neighborhood kids you play with each day.
-You are so funny! (I prayed you would be funny, witty, and entertaining because hello...gene pool?) You are easy to make laugh and giggle, and the things that come out of your mouth are just hilarious.
-Speaking of mouth...you are saying a lot of words these days and forming full sentences. This is a blessing and a curse, but I love it all. Even when you said "Oh shit!" in context at the church Easter egg hunt when you spilled your bubbles.
-You aren't very cuddly and lovey-dovey. You never have been. You're too busy for long hugs and sitting still.
-The neighborhood kids love you and always ask if you can come outside and play. This makes me smile because I want you to be social and friendly.
-Your manners are great. You say "thank you", "please", "yes ma'am", "bless you" and "sorry" about one million times a day. I'm proud of my little southern lady, and I hope you always show respect to your elders.
-You love to dance and sing, and you recently proved you are indeed my child when you stole a microphone from the neighbor and refused to get off their "stage" (aka, porch) during an impromptu afternoon concert. You also like to play your piano and make your daddy and I dance together. After we dance, you clap and say "Yay!" like we are Fred and Ginger.
-You're still mean to the dog. We're working on that.
-Minnie Mouse and Sophia the First are your favorite things on television. You get SO excited when you hear the theme music.
-Did I mention you are absolutely adorable? Your brownish-reddish-blondish hair is curly and wild, and your big blue eyes just sparkle. You're already a little brown baby from being out in the sun so much this summer, and there is nothing cuter than your bikini tan lines.

I love you so much. I can't wait to see what kind of person you grow to be. But if you could just slow it down a bit, that would be great!

Memorial Weekend

Happy (belated) Memorial Day to you and yours! We had an awesome weekend full of good old-fashioned family fun, and the only thing I can say at this point is....Why can't every weekend be a long weekend?

Thanks to our stellar sales staff (myself included, of course) we made our May budget and had a little party at work on Friday. I rolled in about 9:30 with my Nike shorts and t-shirt, did a little bit of office work, then proceeded to gossip until lunch time. Ahhhh. Our fearless leader grilled sausage dogs and we all had a couple of beers before closing it down for the day. Friday half-day? I don't mind if I do!

We just joined a local country club last month, and I have been so pumped to test out the facilities. And by facilities, I mean the pool, grill, and the margaritas. H and I took Charlotte and stayed all Friday afternoon. It was delightful.

Saturday morning rolled around and it was a beautiful day! I'm not sure about you, but we were blessed with some seriously perfect weather all weekend long. It was glorious! Of course we HAD to have another pool day. Our neighbors are members, too, so they joined us at the pool. They have two little boys so the ladies hung by the pool all day with the kiddos while the men played a little golf. Charlotte just loves those boys, especially the youngest, Charlie, who is only 3.

Our other neighbors invited us (and basically the whole neighborhood) over for a movie night on Saturday night. They set up a projection screen in their front yard and we watched Rio. Charlotte thought that was the coolest thing EVER! And actually, it really was. We spread blankets out for the kids, and all of the adults brought some sort of food to add into the mix. And of course, true to The Hysterical District fashion, there was quite a bit of wine floating around, too. H and I are still talking about how much fun this was. I would totally suggest doing something like this in your neighborhood if you can!

Side Note: The majority of Mobilians are Catholic. Which means there is a lot of wine at every single event we attend and everybody has a crap ton of kids. In the afternoons, our street looks like an elementary school just let out. Almost everyone has 3 kids, or at least 2 with another on the way. Our street is North Reed Ave, but the nickname is "Breed Street" because everyone that moves here starts popping out babies immediately.

We hit up the pool again on Sunday for some more family fun time. So far, we are certainly getting our money's worth for the club membership! Haha! I plan on being there as often as I possibly can this summer, hopefully teaching Charlotte how to swim. (I was a lifeguard about a hundred years ago so I'm somewhat qualified) She loves the water and doesn't act afraid at all. She will put her face in the water, she went down the slide, etc. Between the pool at my parents' house, my in-laws on Dauphin Island, and my neighbors' river house I know she needs to comfortable in the water. And safe, too, of course!

Monday was actually very low key. We decided to take it easy and do some things around the house because H had to work Monday night. Charlotte still managed to get in a little baby pool action in the backyard and play with her friends down the street. We also had a little street party that afternoon to kick off summer break. It was supposed to be a crawfish boil, but unfortunately the market was closed for the holiday. The guy who owns the local Wings also lives on our street, so he hooked it up with wings, chips and queso, chicken fingers, wraps, etc. It was a nice ending to a fantastic weekend!

I can't be more thankful for my little family and our life together. I complain a lot about our old house that never seems to be clean and always has something breaking down, falling off, or messing up, but overall I'm so glad we live where we do. I have great neighbors who have become great friends, and it's so nice to get advice from other moms that are (relatively) in the same stage of life as me.

I'm also so thankful for the veterans, current soldiers, their family members, and the canines that work so hard to keep us safe and free. My grandfather and my dad are both veterans, and I'm so proud of them and their service to our country. I won't ever forget the sacrifices they, and so many countless others, have made to ensure my freedom and the privilege to live in the greatest country in the world.

Random Wednesday

I don't really have much to write about today, but I just got tired of reading my last post when I opened my page. It was sad, and it made me sad, so let's get happy with some random Wednesday facts!

What I'm Watching -- There are quite a few good shows on right now and even a few great shows. First of all, Mad Men. Oh how I love you Don Draper, let me count the ways...Maybe I love this show because it is something I can kind of relate to. No, I don't sip Old Fashioneds in my Upper East Side apartment, but I DO work in advertising. This show is a glimpse at a time period in our country when things were really changing and moving in a different direction. Love. it.

I'm also watching VEEP on HBO. I love Julie Louis Dreyfus (Elaine on Seinfeld is probably my favorite TV character of all time). This show is seriously funny, and whether or not it is an accurate portrayal of what goes on at The White House--it is EXACTLY what I imagine goes on at The White House.

But don't worry that I'm going all intellectual with my television watching.  I'm still getting a good healthy dose of mind-numbing, IQ-lowering shows like The Real Housewives of Orange County and Dance Moms.


What I'm Reading -- I'm on the second "Game of Thrones" book and it is ah-mazing. I want to watch the series on HBO, but at this point I'm looking at about 13 hours of television if I start at the beginning. And that's a LOT of time that I just don't have. The books are really good,but there is a ton of violence and dying horses. The horse part is hard for me to take so I'm not sure I could watch the show without having some sort of breakdown.

Where I'm Going -- We've got some exciting things planned in the next few months. We are heading to Perdido Key this weekend for some family fun in the sun, then a nice Mother's Day brunch at the yacht club. Woo hoo! I bought my mom the coolest gifts for the big day and I can't wait to see her face when she opens her surprises. Sometimes giving really is better than receiving. (But receiving is still really good, too!)

My big 3-0 is next month, which is not quite as exciting even though I do LOVE a good birthday celebration. I hope we ring in my 30th with a bang (and I'm sure we will)! Charlotte's birthday is also coming up next month (along with my mom and dad's, too) so I've got to get to planning. I'm thinking a Minnie Mouse celebration pool party at the country club will do nicely.

We've also got a wedding next month for one of H's best friends. We both love Zach a whole lot, and we're so excited to be there as he weds lovely Liz. It's always nice when two nice people find each other. And I must admit, I'm pretty pumped to dance the night away at some of my old college stomping grounds!

And by "stomping grounds", I totally mean the library, Mom!

Anywhooo...Happy Hump Day everyone!

My Thoughts

Is it just me or has there been an obscene amount of sadness this week?

I can't even imagine what went through the minds of those runners and fans in the first minutes of that chaos. What must it be like to witness that? To smell the burning flesh and fumes from the bombs? It just breaks my heart with a sadness and helplessness that is only comparable to the feelings I felt the morning of September 11, 2001.

What makes someone hate THAT much? Don't get me wrong, I have stumbled across people throughout my short time on Earth where I thought, "Ugh. I hate her/him!" But I've never hated someone so much I literally wanted to take their life, and I can't even begin to wrap my brain around wanting to annihilate an entire country and culture of people because of my hatred.

What do we do when the world seems so desperately dark? What do we do when we feel a sense of hopelessness for our future and our childrens' futures? How we do continue to see the good in humanity when it seems like there is no goodness left?

Some people pray. Some people cling tightly to their family or their friends. Some people go out and do good for others to remind themselves (and others) that there is indeed some good on Earth. Some people just retreat further into their holes, imaging a sense of safety in their solitude.

What do I do? A little bit of it all, I guess. I have faith and a loving, forgiving God that I turn to for comfort. I have family and friends that I want to hug and simply say "I love you". I try to give someone an extra smile or a little bit of extra help just so they know not everyone in the world is bitter and afraid. And yet in spite of this, part of me still wants to hide under my bed with my baby, husband, and dog.

But we can't. We can't hide from our new reality and our new world. Why would we want to? Because as much as that part of me wants to run scared, I know I can't. We can't. Because if all the good people run and hide, then they will have won. They will have achieved their goals and we, as a nation and as a whole subset of good people, will have lost.

There is a quote floating about on The Facebooks from Mr. Rodgers (as in PBS' Mr. Rodgers' Neighborhood) that basically says something like "When something bad happens, look at the people who are helping". And I'm sure you've seen video footage from Boston where dozens of people are running toward the smoke and carnage to help the victims.

There is the good. And there is indeed, a lot of good.

I Heart Karaoke

Here is a little known fact about yours truly...I love some karaoke.

Have you ever seen someone get onstage, grab the microphone, and just completely silence the crowd with a totally Idol-worthy performance of "Fancy" or maybe even "Purple Rain"?

Well, that's not me.

Don't get me wrong, in reality I completely realize that I am by no means talented. I can carry a tune, and maybe even do it halfway decently, but NO ONE is mistaking me for Carrie Underwood. (And it ain't just because of my legs). In my head (and in the privacy of my shower) I sound ah-mazing!

But here's the thing about karaoke, and it's what makes me love it even more...

You don't have to be great, you just need to commit.

I am a self-proclaimed karaoke professional, performing in exciting venues from Troy, AL to the famous taverns of Dauphin Island. (The Pub and The Oarhouse, maybe you've heard of me?) What I have found to be true across the nation (or southern region of Alabama, whatever) is that the crowd just wants a show.

So whether it be a version of Salt & Peppa's "Push It" or an old classic like "Freebird", you just have to entertain. Nobody expects it to be perfect, but everyone expects it to be funny, loud, and sang with enthusiasm. And, if at all possible, get the crowd involved. Everyone loves to sing along with "Sweet Caroline" and Heaven help us all, "Sweet Home Alabama".

Just grab the microphone, and take the stage like you really are Carrie Underwood. Or a white-girl version of Salt & Peppa in a Banana Republic sundress and cardigan.

I have a couple of songs in my wheelhouse, and I tend to stick with what I know. For instance, I can't sing high notes worth a darn, so I like to go with some Janis Joplin or Bonnie Rait. Or maybe even some Jimmy Buffett or Alabama if the mood seems right.

And although there was that one time I sang 'Wind Beneath My Wings" on a dare in college, I usually play it safe. (By the way, the wager was free drinks all night if I would sing it a la Bette Midler, and I totally. rocked. it.)

That's why I like karaoke so much -- it's not so much about the talent, it's about the effort. And if you're in the audience, remember to cheer. It takes a lot of testicular fortitude to get up on stage and sing in public, so remember to clap and sing along like you're watching the next big thing on the music scene.

Unless you happen to catch me singing "Wind Beneath My Wings" again, in which case just sit back and enjoy the experience. And record it on your handy-dandy iPhone for future blackmail opportunities.

Playing Catch Up

Everytime I log into my blog, I think "I've GOT to write and update more!" How am I ever going to get a book deal like a bazillion other bloggers if I don't actually blog? It seems that the ones who do make it "famous" are the ones who write and update every single day. So I'm trying.

Quite a few not-so-exciting things have happened since my last post, so I hope you're sitting down while you read this.

H and I went to Baytowne Wharf for our anniversary last month. Here was the criteria for our vacation destination:

A) Must be within a few hours drive from my front door
B) Somewhere we had never been as a couple
C) Easy access to meet the babysitters, aka Mimi and PawPaw

So we settled on San Destin, and it was really nice. Baytown Wharf was cool and really different from the places we normally go (New Orleans, Orange Beach, Dauphin Island, Kinston). It's funny because the vacations we used to take were full of wild nights on the town, sleeping until noon or later, then starting the cycle over again. These days, our vacations are a little more subdued. Ha!

H is all like "I can't believe I forgot my golf clubs because there was a threesome of snowbirds I could have joined up with!" and I'm all like "Let's see where I can find some bubble bath before I go to bed at 6:45"

I'm only partly kidding, but I did try to invest a little more in the 'ol sleep bank while I had the opportunity. And we did do a LOT of eating. Overall, it was a wonderful little getaway where someone else cooks and cleans, and I got to take an afternoon nap while H watched basketball. We celebrated our sixth anniversary and realized why we liked each other in the first place. 

Apparently we are funnier and nicer to each other when we don't have the stresses of everyday life making us ill and sleep deprived. Who knew!?!?

And even though H probably won't read this until sometime in mid-June...

Happy Anniversary! I'm glad one party at your fraternity house turned into all of this. Even though we aren't perfect (and that's putting it nicely), I sure am glad you picked me to be your wife and the mother of your adorable little girl. You've given me many years of laughter, love, and dirty laundry, and I look forward to many more!

Or at least until I find a good prospect for my second husband! (Haha! I'm kidding...maybe!)

All About H

I saw this on another blog last night and I thought it would be great to do a little Q&A about H. I know the guy pretty well (if I do say so myself!). Sometimes I feel like I talk alot about myself and about Charlotte, but I don't pay as much attention to poor 'ol H. (Somewhere he is reading this and nodding his head.)

And, considering, our sixth anniversary is in 5 days, now is as good a time as any!

1. He's sitting in front of the TV, what is on the screen? ESPN
2. You're out to eat; what kind of dressing does he get on his salad? Ranch
3. What's one food he doesn't like? He would say coconut even though he eats it in cakes and loves it!
4. You go out to eat and have a drink. What does he order? Steak and Bud Light or Diet Coke5. Where did he go to high school? Murphy
6. What size shoe does he wear? 10.5 Wide
7. If he was to collect anything, what would it be? Nothing, he's too ADD to stick to a collection
8. What is his favorite type of sandwich? One with a variety of meats (and lots of it)
9. What would this person eat every day if he could? Foosackly's chicken fingers
10. What is his favorite cereal? Kellog Fruit & Yogurt Burst11. What would he never wear? A pastel-colored shirt
12. What is his favorite sports team? Alabama or Saints football
13. Who did he vote for? He didn't vote. (I know! I know!)
14. Who is his best friend? Me :)  or Zach Gradwell
15. What is something you do that he wishes you wouldn't do? Worry about things
16. What is his heritage? Irish Catholic
17. You bake him a cake for his birthday; what kind of cake? Chocolate or Red Velvet
18. Did he play sports in high school? No, but he did in elementary and middle school
19. What could he spend hours doing? Playing golf
20. What is one unique talent he has? He can carry all of the grocery bags in one trip

I bet H would know the answer to these same questions if they were asked about me! It's important to know what's important to your spouse, and it's important to pay attention to the things they love. I'm not saying a husband and wife have to love the exact same things (for instance, I am an Auburn fan and H is a die-hard Bammer), but we can all benefit if we respect each other's likes and dislikes.

 

 

A Day in the Life

I have once again linked up to Kelly's blog for a little "Show Us Your Life Friday!". Today's topic is a "A Day in the Life" so brace yourselves for lots of exciting, nail biting, edge-of-your-seat type of situations.

Totally kidding, by the way.

But here is what I do on a daily basis (or at least during the weekdays).

6:30 am - Alarm goes off
6:45 am - I actually get out of bed and stumble to the shower. Next is makeup, hair, and trying to find
something to wear to work even though I have NO CLOTHES.
7:45 am - The nanny arrives and I head out for work. Sometimes Charlotte is awake, but most of the time she is still snoozing when I leave for work. No morning kisses. :(
8:00 am - Arrive at work, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed! Again, totally kidding. And if I'm being completely honest, the time should read 8:05.
10:00 am - I work in sales, so my goal is to be out of the office by this time. From then until about 3:00 I make cold calls, ride the market, check in with existing customers, take meetings, etc.
5:00 pm - Head home to my second job
5:15 pm - Get to my house and spend a little time with Charlotte. Most afternoons Charlotte, Charlie (the dog), and I usually head outside until it gets dark. Sometimes I have a glass of wine on my neighbor's porch while the kids and dogs play in the yard.
6:00 pm - Start dinner
6:30 pm - Charlotte eats dinner and watches Disney Jr. while I get our dinner ready. I try not to cook a separate meal for her because I want her to eat things besides french fries, chicken nuggets, and mac n' cheese, so she typically eats whatever we are going to eat with a few minor adjustments. (Although sometimes I do just slap a PB&J together because it's easy and I'm running behind)
7:00 pm - H and I try to eat dinner. Charlotte is normally tormenting our poor dog, watching Disney Jr, and running around like a madwoman
7:30 pm - Bath time and bedtime routine
8:00 pm - Our pjs are on so we usually go upstairs to the playroom. It's easier to relax up there and wind down from the day without quite as many distractions
8:30 pm - Bedtime!
After 8:30 pm - This is when I clean the kitchen, fold some laundry, and do the general tidying up. I try to catch up on my DVR'd shows at this point, too. I'm a multitasker, what can I say?
10:30 pm - I'm usually already in the bed at this point, but I'm either reading or watching television.
11:00 pm - Out like a light, ready to do it all over again the next day!

And that's it! Just like "The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills" except without the Botox and jaunts on private planes to Las Vegas.

If you are wondering where H is during all the this...who the heck knows?!?! Just kidding, but he works a swing shift where it's 2 weeks of nights, then 2 weeks of days. Sometimes he is home and sometimes he isn't, so it's hard to do a "typical" day or night with him. Let's just conclude there is a lot more ESPN and a lot more yelling. But also a lot more laughter and a lot more fun!

I hope you enjoyed a day in my life! I'm not saving the world or saving lives on a daily basis, but I'm pretty happy with the little life we've built for ourselves. And luckily, I can't wait to wake up and do it all over again next week!

Shameless Plug

Sometimes I stumble across a blog and instantly bookmark it. If you read blogs very often (which, duh, I'm assuming because you're here reading this!) then I'm sure it happens to you to. When you read a person's words and see pictures, it kind of gives you a view into their world and makes you think, "I would totally be hanging out with this gal if she lived here!"

Well, that's how I feel about Melanie Shankle at www.thebigmamablog.com . She is just hilarious! I love her sense of humor, and her family-that I swear I'm not stalking but sounds a little weird way-just seems awesome in the way they interact.

Bottom line - her writing is great and she just published her first book. It's called Sparkly Green Earrings  and seriously ya'll....buy it now.

My copy just came in the mail and I can't put it down.

It's about marriage and motherhood and all of the day-to-day happenings that make life so darn good. The good, the bad, and the ugly. And don't forget the funny. It's also got Bible references and lessons in faith, but not in a "religious-y" kind of way. You can just tell that this is a person with a personal relationship with God, but without it being "preachy" at all.

If you're looking for a quick, good read--please go buy this. Don't check in out of the library or borrow a friend's copy. Just buy it. This is a woman who (obviously) loves to write and truly has a knack for it. She's been blogging for years and has somehow managed to parlay the blogosphere into a successful writing career.

Honestly, I'm jealous and I want to know how the heck she did it!

I want to support her, and I ask that you do the same by buying her book. I promise it will be $12 well spent! If I ever write a book, which is kind of my dream, I just pray that people would buy it. The scariest part of writing is wondering if no one is gonna like what you produce. I sort of liken it to having a baby and nobody cares that you were pregnant or even that the baby was born. And then the people that do show a little interest tell you it's ugly. Yikes.

But Melanie's baby is definitely NOT ugly! You can purchase it at Amazon or Lifeway, plus I'm sure every other major bookseller in the country. I hope you enjoy it as much as I have!

Busy Busy Busy

It's been a busy, sad, busy, stressful, happy, and busy fast few weeks. Did I mention we've been busy?

First things first, we are in the heart of the Carnival Season. In other words...It's time for Mardi Gras, ya'll! There is something exciting in the air when you first start seeing those barricades go up along Broad and Government Streets downtown. Last year's straggling beads that still remain in the oak tree are just begging for company. Street vendors are setting up their signs and plastic display of funnel cakes. The local radio station starts playing anything with a trombone, and everyone who's anyone knows it's time to take those formals and tails to the cleaners.

Speaking of formals and tails....we need some help keeping up with our crap. Last year H couldn't find his tuxedo pants. I was pissed because he only realized it about 2 hours BEFORE we needed to leave the house for the parade and ball. Plus, who is the heck loses a pair of pants!?!?! The only silver lining was him getting felt up by a very amorous gay man at the tuxedo shop. Hahaha! So anyway, I gave him such a hard time and lo and behold...I couldn't find my dress this year when I went to wrangle up our attire to take to the dry cleaners.

Who loses a formal dress!?!?! It's not like I'm Lady Gaga with a plethora of floor-length Givency haute-couture gowns in my closet. To make a short story long, I finally found it in the bottom of my dry cleaning bag that I was supposed to drop off last year. Oops. Thankfully Dillards let me return my new dress so no harm no foul.

Other random thoughts throughout the past few weeks:

1.) Has anyone else been watching Downton Abbey? Oh. My. Word. This show is SO good it makes me want to move to England, marry someone with a title, and speak with a British accent like Madonna. The sadness of the past two episodes was about to do me in, though. I don't want to spoil it for you, but just beware that tissues will probably be a necessity.

2.) Teen Mom 2 - Is it just me or has that poor little girl Chelsea been trying to get her GED for like, 6 years now? She could be a doctor at this point!

3.) I'm also convinced that Mississippi and Alabama are totally getting a bad rap. I've caught quite a few new television shows recently that take place in West Virginia, and can I just say...Yikes. Alabama folks always say, 'Thank God for Mississippi!", but it looks to me like Mississippians should be saying, "Thank God for West Virginia and at least we don't live in a Holler!"

4.) Work stresses me out. The end.

5.) We got to see my parents quite a bit over the past week. It's always nice when they visit because I finally get a little bit of a break. It's really tough when you have to work 8 hours a day, then come home to your other job. Between working, cleaning, taking care of a 1.5 year old BUSY gal, cooking, laundry, running errands, etc, etc, etc....there needs to be about 2 more mes to get it all done.

Court Date

I debated about whether or not I was going to blog about The Incident that occurred last week. I decided, "what the hey, might as well because as least it's a funny story", and I'm sure there are a few others out there who might have experience something similar in dealing with our wonderful judicial system.

I had to go to court last week.

Yikes! Back in October I got a speeding ticket for going 42 mph in a 30 mph zone. (In my defense, I thought it was a 35 mph zone and we all know there is a 10 mph window. I was in the window!) I also got a ticket for not having my insurance card. Please note I HAVE insurance, I just didn't have my updated card. And apparently showing the emailed receipt on your Smartphone does not a validation make.

Anywhoo...the cop told me I could just go down to Municipal Plaza and show my valid insurance card before the end of that month and they would toss the ticket. Wrong! Apparently they don't do that these days. Only a judge is qualified enough to look at a date on a card and verify that I was, in fact, insured at the time of my ticket.

I went to the Municipal Court on my said date of Tuesday, Jan. 15. I went to the 8 am show because I was told it was the least crowded. I get there and my name isn't on the docket. WTH? I find a clerk and ask why my name isn't listed because obviously, I'm trying to get this crap taken care of. Well....I was in the wrong place.

Of course. How silly of me to assume my municipal ticket would be taken care of at the municipal courtroom! Didn't I realize I was supposed to be at the Civic Center!?!?!

First of all, I'm going to court. Not a job fair or a Mardi Gras Ball, which are the only two reasons I can possibly think of for going to the Civic Center.

And it's too late for me to make it before they close the doors for the 8 am court. Arghhhh. So I leave, pay $3 to park for the approximate 7.5 minutes I was at Municipal Plaza, and head back to work. I can't make it to the 10 am court, so I have to hold off until the 2 pm court when all of the losers who can't get out of bed for early court manage to straggle in.

Let me just say that there are some characters at traffic court. There was a little, teeny tiny Middle Eastern dude named Muhammad Ali. NO LIE. And there was a black woman with the most horrible blond weave I've ever seen. It looked like someone had put Sun In on a squirrel and tied it to her head, bless her heart. One poor gentleman had a bad cough and the bailiff threatened to kick him out and charge him with contempt if he didn't get it under control. Scary.

When you walk into court they ask everyone to give their name as a way to sort of sign in. Then they ask, no...demand that you sit in that order. The woman in front of me was large. As in, a good 300+ lbs. I left a seat between her and me because A.) Those seats are TINY and B.) I don't like to touch people and C.) She smelled like a combination of sweat, fried foods, cigarettes, and some cheap perfume.  She needed more than her alloted seat, and I was just making room for the overflow.

And then the Bailiff called me out in front of everyone. Her exact words were, "Hey! Blondie! MOVE DOWN!" I didn't want to embarrass the lady, but I certainly didn't want to slide down either.

But I did. Because I'm a law-abiding citizen.

After about an hour of sitting with my legs crossed, taking up only half of the whole seat that I was forced to sit in, it was my turn. Thank God! And it went fine. My insurance ticket was thrown out and the judge let me go to driving school for the speeding ticket. Whew!

But I tell you what...I don't EVER want to have to go through that mess ever again!

I'm not sure if all court proceedings are that frightening, but I'm 100% sure I don't want to find out. I can't imagine why just going through that process isn't enough to deter criminals. I don't even have to get to the next step - jail - to know I do not like being in trouble. I'm a rule follower, plain and simple.

And that's the way I want to keep it!

Resolutions

We are two weeks into 2013 and I thought now was a good time as ever to mention my resolutions. I hate that all resolutions are just born to fail. It's kind of sad that everyone just assumes no one will even remember their resolutions by the end of January, much less keep them. I'm gonna give it the old college effort, though! In no particular order, here is my list of "resolutions":

Drink More Water - Nothing really life-altering here. I just need to drink more water and less Coca-Cola. It will do me good to save those empty calories and it should help my bank account balance as well.

Watch Less TV - Let's be honest, here. The Real Housewives franchise is not really adding any sort of value to my life. And although I now know how to make spaghetti with ketchup, noodles, and butter, Honey Boo Boo and those other Toddlers and Tiaras aren't helping much either. I should replace this habit with healthier habits like playing outside with Charlotte. Or drinking wine on my porch with my neighbors.

Give Myself Some Credit - I always feel like I'm a worse parent, friend, employee, daughter, wife, etc when I compare myself to those around me. I see these amazing moms who make all of these homemade crafts and dinners, and most of the time it just makes me feel like throwing in the towel altogether. In 2013, I'm going to try to stop comparing my life and my situation to others and just do what I can do and be the best me. Pardon the beauty pageant answer cliches (see above resolution). 

Save More Money - Dad, if you read my blog today you'll be very happy with this one. Less spending and more saving!

Put More Effort Into Myself - I've always been one of those low-maintenance gals who didn't need makeup or perfectly coiffed hair to run to the grocery store. However, I think 2013 is the year I need to step up my game. I'm creeping up on...ahem, 30...and I think it's time I realize those dewey-fresh days of my early twenties are far behind me. From now on, H is the only lucky one who needs to see what this looks like with no makeup, and that's only because he's legally bound to do it.

And that's it! I would like to add that I'm going to actually USE that Couch to 5K app I downloaded on my phone, do more Pinterest projects, keep a cleaner house, fold laundry as soon as it comes out of the dryer as opposed to letting it pile up, read more with Charlotte, cook more homemade meals, and be less judgemental of idiots and Alabama fans.

But let's be honest - none of those things are ever going to happen in real life!