Thursday, August 25, 2011

Don't Put Your Horse All In One Basket, or Whatever...

My hopes are like a penis on Viagra-once they get up, I just can't get them back down no matter how hard I try.

I had what I thought was going to be a great opportunity kind of fall into my lap this week. It was unexpected and made me realize maybe I had been missing things in my professional career that I didn't even realize I was missing. I tried not to "put the cart before the horse" or "put all my eggs in one basket" or whatever other cliche's that are just witty ways to say "don't get your hopes up and plan on something happening before it happens because then it probably won't happen and you'll be screwed AND disappointed all at once."

And of course, I did just that.

But here's the funny part...

As excited as I was about this new opportunity, I was afraid all at the same time. Along with a nice paycheck and a new iPad, it also came with lots of stress. And a lot of stress + a new baby might not be wise. Plus, I really do love the company I work for now, and I love the people even more.

So I prayed. I prayed that God would somehow show me what would be the best option for me and that HIS plan would prevail. And that He would show me what that plan would be.

Everything fell apart this morning and nothing panned out the way I thought it would. I was sad and disappointed and once again felt screwed out of what I thought should have been mine. They don't know what they're missing! They don't know how awesome I am! They don't know how badly I want a new iPad!

Of course about half-way through my pity party I realized that maybe this was the way it was supposed to be. That maybe God had answered my prayer and told me to "Be patient. Be content. I have other plans, bigger and better plans for you than this."

And it made me feel a lot better once I listened.

Disclaimer: I fully realize that I somehow managed to write a blog containing references to God and Viagra. Thankfully I've watched a lot of American Idol auditions so I know God has a sense of humor, too.


Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Back to School

I keep seeing all of these Facebook status updates about kids and teachers heading back to school, and it really brought back some memories for me. There was nothing more exciting than the first day of school!

The first day of school , whether it was kindergarten, seventh grade, or senior year, was such a fresh start. The entire year was up ahead and there were endless possibilities for fun--field trips, dances, football games, spend-the-night parties, etc. I was an only child so by the time August rolled around I was usually O-V-E-R summer. It was too hot and too lonely for my taste, and I actually enjoyed school.

First of all, there was nothing better than getting a whole new wardrobe for the fall. My mom always took me for a big, long day of "Back to School Shopping". Granted, I hated that day of shopping, but I sure loved having new clothes and shoes to sport! I literally would have rather gone to the dentist than gone school shopping, just ask my mom.

For me, the ABSOLUTE best of the best was going to shop for supplies. Even now, there is nothing that blows my dress up quite like a fresh notebook and a new pack of pens. I remember I would sit down in the living room the night I got my supplies (because honestly, who could wait until the night before schoo!?!?) and organize all of my notebooks with paper, dividers and other accessories.

And Heaven help us all if there was a planner involved! Planners were (and still are) some of my favorite things in the world.

I just re-read that sentence to myself. Yes, I do realize I sound like a nerd. And I'm perfectly okay with that.

With each new year came a new teacher. And thankfully most of my teachers were completely awesome. I remember one that really wasn't, but the rest were great. I was a good student. I liked to learn and I picked things up easily. However, even though my report card was always straight A's, I would always get the same comment "Tiffany is a great student, but she talks too much and can be disruptive to others."

To which I would say...ummmm, duh? There is WAY too much going on in my head to sit quietly and listen for any long period of time. I'm not good at "quiet" or "still".

Now that I am getting on up there in age and my (many) years of school are more than likely over, it makes me a little nostalgic for those first-day jitters. For the excitement of opening up my new notebook and writing my name and the date in the top right-hand corner. For walking into the auditorium during that first assembly. For learning the ins and outs of that new teacher's personality.

Maybe it was just that my elementary and high school was just that awesome that they have each left such a lasting impression on my life. Or maybe it was that my teachers were so amazing that they managed to somehow make school not just a place to learn, but a place to experience new and exciting things every day. Learning was fun, just as it should be.

And if any of my old teachers ever read my blog, I would like to formally apologize for talking too much. If it makes it any better, I have somehow managed to get a B.S. and make a career out of Talking and Shooting the S#&t.

Okay, okay, it's really called Marketing and PR, but it's basically the same thing if you've ever met anyone in sales.

Happy First Day of School, lil chickens! Enjoy that new Lisa Frank notebook!


Tuesday, August 9, 2011

What We've Been Up To...

First things first...SWEET BABY CHARLOTTE IS HERE! She joined the party June 27th at 3:41 pm weighing in at 7 lbs 6 oz and 20" long.

She's been here for a little over a month, which will probably explain the lapse in time since I last wrote a blog post. I've been on maternity leave (thank the good Lord) for six weeks and since I do most of my writing while I'm "working" (aka trying to look busy at my desk) I just figured my adoring fans could wait. I kid, I kid.

Things are blissfully wonderful on the home front. Charlotte sleeps about 10 hours a night, never cries, and her poop smells like sunshine and unicorns.

Again... I kid, I kid.

BUT things are pretty darn wonderful. Don't get me wrong, we have some good days and some bad days, but overall things are better than I could have ever imagined. First of all Charlotte is healthy and that was of course the biggest blessing of all. I made it through labor and delivery pretty much in one piece and without too much trauma (although I might not be able to say the same for H). And despite my two uterus (uteri?) and the fact that Charlotte was coming out malpresented (sunny-side up, only happens 5% of the time or something crazy) I managed to squeeze her out the old-fashioned way without a C-section. And plenty of drugs, like God intended.

People warned me I would never sleep again, but even sleep has been more frequent than I anticipated. I averaged a couple of naps a day because I am a firm believer in sleeping when the baby sleeps. Dishes, laundry, and sweeping be damned! She gets a bath at 9, then a bottle, then it's off to sleep until 2 or 2:30. She wakes up, takes another bottle and goes back to sleep until about 5:30. Overall, it's a pretty good schedule for a newborn and we are SO thrilled. My biggest disappointment is that I couldn't breastfeed her. I'm convinced that I did something wrong and I still feel guilty about it, but I figured even the lowly formula was better than letting the kid starve to death.

My 6 weeks of maternity leave flew by and as much as I loved getting to bond with her--I'm incredibly happy to be back at work. First of all, I'm thankful to have a job in this miserable economy, and I missed my coworkers (who are a pretty funny bunch). I also missed getting to leave the house and converse with adults about intelligent things like the upcoming football season, reality television, and stupid email forwards. I guess it makes me a bad mother, but I need the break that work provides. I need stimulation outside of poopy diapers-even if they do smell like unicorns and sunshine. It makes me a better, more patient wife and mother when I return at the end of the work day. And since people and dogs around my house like to eat and enjoy things like air conditioning and cable it is something I can justify. Don't get me wrong-I have the utmost respect for stay-at-home moms because it is seriously hard work. It's just not my cup of tea.

Overall, we are completely smitten with the new addition. She is lovely and perfect and sweet and cute and looks absolutely NOTHING like me! She does have my lips and one dipple like me, but that is the only mark I left on the child after almost 10 months in my belly. Sad, but true. Thankfully H ended up making an adorable little girl!'s back to the grind as we learn to adjust to real life with a baby. So far the transition has been relatively smooth, but my head isn't that far in the sand to know that there will inevitably be rough times ahead. I'm just so happy to have H, Charlotte, Chuck and Lois along for the ride! Now that I'm back at work I will be posting more frequently with insight into our new way of life in the Hysterical District.


PS-Even with an epidural, the stork concept is WAY better than the actual thing!