Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Taboo Topics

According to genteel Southern etiquette, there are just some things you aren't supposed to talk about. You can talk about your crazy mama. You can talk about your crazy maw-in-law. You can talk about SEC football until your blue in the face. You can even talk about what it really feels like to pass a kidney stone.

But dear, sweet baby Jesus (don't worry, I'm not taking his name in vain because I pronounce it Hey-suse) don't talk about politics.

Or religion.

But what are you supposed to do if you think politics and religion are both pretty fascinating topics to discuss? get a blog, describe it as a blog about renovating and entertaining, and then WHAM...the old bait and switch. If you find politics and religion too taboo, I would suggest you stop reading now. But maybe we'll see ya next week!

I heart politics. Especially politics in Alabama. We have the biggest bunch of yahoos running this state, and it seems that even the next batch of worthy candidates (there I go using terms loosely again) is a pretty pitiful excuse of social climbers and ne'er-do-wells.

But I digress.

I think somewhere along the line we forgot about common sense. We started paying too much attention to the "he said/she said" bullhockey and we lost sight of the big picture. When did lying become the norm for Alabama politicos? We used to see honest, hard-working folks running for an office so they could make a difference in our state. So they could make a difference for their children and grandchildren.

Now it seems the only thing our politicians and candidates are concerned about is getting in bed with the person or organization that can benefit them the most. Why don't politicians start taking some advice from MTV and "start getting real"?

EDUCATION--Education in our state is pitiful at best. As long as I live in the Hysterical District, my future children will never go to a public school. Write it down, folks. I don't care if H has to hook it on the corner, Jr. is NOT going to public school. I'm not sure if it will take a lottery to improve education, but it sure seems to be working for our neighbors. I think we need to clean house--starting with the AEA and its leader.

GAMBLING--Oh, the hot topic of choice for everybody from Southern Baptists to Uncle Milty McGregor. My personal standpoint--Who cares? With education in the toilet, maybe we should be focusing on something a little bit more important than blue-haired little 'ol ladies playing electronic bingo. I have an idea--why don't we vote on it!?!?! Because that would make far too much sense. I am 27 with admittedly a rudimentary knowledge of things like bills, fillibusters, and all the other broohaha that those crazy senators and representatives seem to know. But once again, I have a little bit of common sense. Which apparently is NOT a requirement to be able to place "Alabama State Capital" as your place of employment on your resume.

FUNDING--Okay, I admit it. I'm not the BEST at budgeting and such. But I'm GREAT at putting others on a budget (just ask H)! However, I believe a city or a state's budget should operate with the same basic principles as my own personal budget. When times are rough (cause let's face it...sometimes they are) you have to tighten the purse strings. If you can't afford to keep an elementary school from falling down around the students, why in the world would you spend hundreds of thousands of dollars over the course of a year for our politicians to eat at Ruth's Chris and stay at the Hilton? Yes, I love Ruth's Chris, too. But sometimes I have to eat my own steak without the well-timed deliverance and linen napkins.

Pardon me if my political rant rubbed you the wrong way. To ease your pain, I'm no Democrat. Because if there's anything WORSE than talking politics in Alabama, it's admitting you're a Democrat. But, to defend my open-minded lefties, I am no Republican either. I'm an Independent and proud to admit it!

Actually, I like to say I am socially liberal and fiscally conservative. In a nutshell I believe homosexuals should have the same rights as I do, and I believe things like government housing, welfare, and food stamps should have a time limit. I believe I should be able to praise my God, write and say what I want, and keep a loaded gun in my nightstand. And at the same time, I believe you should be able to praise your God (or Buddha, Allah, Wiccan tree, or life-size Nick Saban cardboard cutout if you so desire).

Maybe this topic is too heavy for my blog. If so...we will resume the tales of embarrassing childhood moments next time.

Toodles, kids.


  1. Amen, Mr. Sister. Love this. :)
    I will say this for Georgia they are heads and shoulders above Alabama when it comes to education...thanks to - THE LOTTERY. Everyone has a friggin FREE RIDE TO COLLEGE. Of course, many shit that away but still - it's THERE.

  2. That was fun to read. But I'm awfully glad I don't live in Alabama being as I couldn't hold a 4 second conversation about SEC football (SEC to me is the Security & Exchange commission... or a second... but it sure doesn't have anything to do with football) and I shudder to think of the consequences of admitting that I'm a Democrat... which I am.

    But really, I think your post reflects what I believe to be true about most people... 24 hour news cycles aside. I believe most people are moderate and reasonable... now if only that was true of the good folks we elect!

  3. Love this- I think you were reading my mind when you wrote this.