Monday, October 25, 2010


I have SDD.

And it's pretty bad if I do say so myself.

SDD can sneak up on you when you least expect it. Sometimes no amount of protection and self gratification can ensure exemption from will catch even the most unsuspecting fool.

SDD is not a new affliction. Although geniuses at such places like the CDC and the Mayo Clinic might suggest otherwise, I have a sinking suspicion SDD is hereditary.

You see, my mother had the random flare-up from time to time, and I'm fully convinced it was passed down through the gene pool. Damn that gene pool.

SDD, for the uninformed, is Servant Deprivation Disorder.

I have a roaring case of SDD right now with no end or relief in sight. I spent ALL weekend cleaning and doing laundry, and that is NO way to spend a weekend.

Can I get an "amen, sista?!"

If I had a housekeeper or even a weekly maid service, just think of all the extra time I would have on my hands. I could go to the gym 4 days a week. I could volunteer at my local humane shelter. I could help my friend move into her new house, which is only a few streets away from my humble abode. Yay for neighbors who also enjoy porch time and a nice glass of wine! (Lawd have mercy I love my Catholic friends with no qualms about partaking) I could walk my dogs to the pumpkin patch all the time, and I could come home to whip up a delicious home-cooked meal for my lovely husband.

Actually, I would probably spend way too many hours at Wintzells drinking dollar beers with the ladies and discussing our plans to save the world. Or how I am STILL searching for the ideal pair of riding boots.

H had a nanny/maid/cook/second mother as a child. But in his 'hood, everyone did. He has such fond memories of Georgia--apparently she had hip replacement surgery which allowed her to do all sort of circus-freak tricks. Tricks, I imagine, that would amaze and terrify little boys. She would have dinner ready for the family every night. She did laundry. She even covered for H when he allegedly shot a BB gun at a neighbor's car. H was a handful. :)

I didn't know it was possible to miss someone you never met. In addition to SDD, I now have Georgia-envy.

Now, I completely understand that some of you who are reading this (especially those with children, dogs, and a full-time job) are saying, "What in the world does she need a maid for!?!? It is just her and her husband--they don't have time to clean their measly house!?!?!"

Nope, we dont.

Because we have lives. Fun lives. And God forbid cleaning get in the way of fun. Actually, I have a fridge magnet (even though I despise fridge magnets) that says, "A clean house is the sign of a wasted life."

Can I get another "amen, sista"!?!?!

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