Thursday, December 30, 2010

What NOT to Watch Part I

What has happened to television lately? Seriously, here lately it seems like every time I turn my TV on I'm left asking....what the hell is this crap I'm watching? Here is a brief rundown of the shows that (in my opinion) we should all stay far, far away from. And I mean FAR. There haven't been any studies that prove these shows really do lower IQs and cause brain cells to die a slow, steady death, but I AM totally convinced these shows aren't really adding anything productive to our society.

Warning! Before reading this, let me put my little disclaimer out there first and foremost: Some of you are not going to agree with me on these choices. It's nothing personal and I am not calling you stupid for watching them (because hello, I had to have watched them at some point to comment on them here). And secondly, just because I detest these shows, for some reason they are like a car wreck--the outcome is terrible yet for some reason I just can't look away. Don't say I didn't warn you first.

Sarah Palin's Alaska--Now, those that know me know I am not a fan of Mrs. Palin. I personally think she is corny, fake, and not-that-smart. Although I will admit she is awfully pretty! I'm not sure if there is an actual point to this show other than to prove that she can indeed fire a shotgun and catch a fish. (But let me add that her clothes look like they were bought at the local North Face retailer about 10 minutes before taping began. No outdoorsman I've ever seen has clothes that clean.) She constantly complains about privacy and the flack her children get from HER political career, yet she parades them on national television for a paycheck? Hello kettle. It shows her kids and grandkid, yet we never see the newest addition with Down Syndrome. In my opinion, a reality show would be a wonderful opportunity to showcase just how special children with DS are and how their lives can be productive and even somewhat normal. But no...let's leave little Trig locked in a closest somewhere, or out on the porch with the nanny who's still looking for Russia. And don't EVEN get me started on the episode with Kate Gosselin and her litter! Note to TLC: Let's stick to "19 Kids and Counting" and "Toddlers and Tiaras".

Chelsea Lately--Dear Chelsea Handler, I'm on the fence with this one. I tend to catch this show simply because there isn't anything else on at 10 pm (other than How I Met Your Mother reruns that I've seen a million times). It starts out funny. I laugh, I'm entertained for a moment. But I can't for the life of me figure out WHY a funny blond needs a Hispanic little person/midget/vertically challenged (I don't know the PC term for this) person as a sidekick. He isn't funny. And secondly...why are you so mean Chelsea? Just when I think I've started to become a fan, you say something so terribly mean it makes me cringe and change the channel.

Bridalplasty--While I'm on the E! bashing, let me continue with a show that has absolutely no good points whatsoever. This show is terrible and one that I will not watch ever again. These poor girls have the lowest self esteem and continue to degrade themselves week after week for the world's viewing pleasure. I'm not totally against plastic surgery, but I am against this show. And I'm against whomever does the programming for E! because "Wild Girls", "Married to Rock", and "Spin Crowd" need to disappear forever into the land of forgotten television series, never to be aired in syndication again.

Extreme Couponing--This show is sad. While I'm impressed that these women and men can manage to get $1000 of groceries for $8, I am also sad for them. Who has that much time to collect, cut, and use that many coupons? (Seriously, they said the typical couponer had thousands on hand at any given time) Obviously their local grocery store is nothing like mine because I want to get in and out as soon as humanly possible--not spend 6 hours of my life hassling the check-out clerks. Get a life, folks. Or better yet....get a job. When you work 40 hours a week, you have no desire to spend your precious few leftover hours looking online so you can buy 80 sticks of deodorant, 37 toothbrushes, and 1000 boxes of cereal for .37. Trust me--your local Winn-Dixie cashier will thank-you for not following in these people's footsteps.

And now....last but not least:

Bama Belles--I love Alabama. We are a beautiful state full of beautiful, intelligent people. Yet for some reason, TLC has found the dumbest bunch of redneck hussies East of the Mississippi. Apparently no one bothered to inform TLC executives what constitutes a Southern Belle, because let me be the first to tell you it is not a bandana and a pick-up truck. First of all, that white-trash Dakota (bless her bandana-clad heart) is a hot mess. Who cheats on her husband then proudly struts around the local bar like a celebrity because she has a low-budget television crew following her around? Secondly, I'm all for Yankees coming to town to learn a little about Southern culture, but if you don't like it Ms. Thang From NYC, well you can hop back on that horse and trot right on back to the big city for all we care. Thirdly, I have lived in the South my entire life, make that the Wiregrass basically my whole life, and I have never once been to a lawnmower race or to a party with sombrero-wearing donkey. (and I consider myself pretty darn county!) And newsflash: not all Southern ladies like to sit in a deer blind and pretend to hunt with their loudmouth friend, either. Last but not least (okay, not last because I could go on for days about the ridiculousness of this show) but since when did Dothan become so rural?!?! Last time I rode through the Circle City, I saw new-fangled notions like shopping malls, state-of-the-art hospitals, and by-golly...even one of them thar motorized horse and buggies!

Next time (in case anyone made it past the Palin Show-bashing paragraph without leaving me forever) I will give my "thumbs up" list of what to watch. If you care. And you probably don't, and that's okay, too--it's just for tits and giggles!

Now get your panties out of a wad and have a Happy New Year,


  1. I whole heartedly agree - even though I never had the stomach to watch one. Or five mins of one. I cringe at the Palin commericals. Thank for shooting straight Mr. Sista - happy new year!

  2. Hey... Bama Belles only lasted 2 shows.... it's completely off the network now...