I know we've been together for a while now, and let me start by saying I appreciate everything you've done for me over the past few years. We've been through some good times and some bad times, and I think we've matured a lot over the course of our relationship.
We've had some really great times together. I will never forget the time we sat at my house and watched "Pants on the Ground" until I almost wet my pants! It makes me laugh just thinking about it! Or, when you kept telling me "hide yo kids, hide yo wife" and I had no idea what you were talking about...and then I finally took the time to watch the video, and my life hasn't been the same since! Ahhhh...those were some freakin' awesome times.
It almost felt as if we had our own little language--a way of communicating and keeping in contact without saying anything at all. I always felt special because it was something so simple between us that even worldly, intelligent kings of industry couldn't understand. I know, I know...sometimes we took it too far with all of the "OMFGs" and political stances, but hey Boo...we were kids then.
Which kinda brings me to my point. As much as I hate to admit it, my rose-colored glasses have come off now that I'm faced with such grown-up things as a mortgage and life insurance. I can only handle so many public displays of affection before I lose my mind. You know that ain't my style, after all. I just wanted it to be easy--no commitments, no needless interactions with your friends and family (because you know I've never really liked them too much to begin with). I don't want to sound too modern, or God-forbid even mildly 'liberal', but I was just looking for a good time...no strings attached. We would maybe hook up if we were alone and bored...until this whole thing just got way more serious than I anticipated.
Over the past few months I've been dodging your messages and emails and probably even faked it a couple of times (even though I'm sure you couldn't tell). I'm sure you've wondered why I've ignored your all-too-frequent requests and invitations lately. I should have told you sooner I suppose. I mean, I'm not saying we should totally break up. It's not like I'm gonna "un-friend" you or anything! I guess I just want some time to reconnect with the person I am inside--I think I lost her somewhere between Yo-ville and my own dignity.
Honestly, in the end, I think you know me pretty well. And I don't just mean the superficial stuff like my birthday and my favorite movie! You know the real me....the me that loves Gone With the Wind AND Michelle Obama. You know my dirty secrets, yet you've never judged me. And I know you know I sometimes pretend like I'm asleep or scurry out of the room with some lame excuse when you suddenly appear to "talk"--I shouldn't have treated you like that. It isn't something I'm proud of.
But in the end, it doesn't change the way I feel now. I'm sure I will see you--it's inevitable that we will bump into each other since we have so many mutual friends and so many events on the horizon. Hopefully we can get together like old times and exchange funny stories and photos. And knowing you, you will have some sort of hilarious video or memory-lane worthy tune that will try to suck me back in! LOL....some things will never change!
Like I said, I just need to get back to reality. Please understand it's not you, it's me.
The first day of high school
3 hours ago