Monday, March 28, 2011

My Anniversary Gift

Our 4th wedding anniversary was March 17th (St. Patrick's Day!) and H went ALL OUT on the gift. And I'm not using any sarcasm when I say this either. The poor guy might have failed miserably on Valentine's Day for two years running, but I must admit he knows how to give good gifts when it comes to the most important occasions. He got me a delightful gift card to Nou Veau Salon & Spa. Although I've had massages in the past, I've never been here because it's a little on the pricey side. His gift card was over the top, but this pregnant lady NEEDED a good rub down! So I escaped to the spa on Saturday afternoon while he hit up the golf course. It was a win-win situation for both of us, what can I say! I got the "Mommy-To-Be" Massage and it was everything a massage should be. Relaxing, soothing, wonderful, etc, etc, et al. But....yes, I've noticed all my stories have a but. I'm really not a complainer, I swear to you. These are just a couple of random things I noticed while being groped by a woman named Yolanda. First of all, when you walk into the treatment room she says, "Please get as undressed as you feel comfortable, and get under the sheet." I immediately think, "As undressed as YOU feel comfortable, or as I feel comfortable?" If it were up to me, I would strip nekkid as a jaybird, tell her not to waste time with that sheet, and get to rubbin'....but I figured that might get be disbarred from the spa and therefore make the rest of my gift card amount null and void. Sooooo...I strip to panties and call it a day. Question: Is "underwear only" too naked? Should I have kept my bra on, too? Yolanda was wonderful, really she was. But she was a talker. And I as talkative as I am, there are some times when I just want you to shut up. The little Vietnamese ladies that do my nails? You know the ones--I feel no need to carry on a useless conversation about my day, my job, my family, my belly, or my weekend plans. Just paint my toenails, rub my feet, and let me read about Charlie Sheen in peace, thankyouverymuch. Same goes for Yolanda. As happy as I am that you thought you pooped on the table during childbirth, I just want to check out and relax for the next 60 minutes. Overall, it was a wonderful experience. If any dudes ever read this and find their wife/girlfriend/booty call in the family way--PLEASE buy her a Expectant Mother Massage. It will make her feel relaxed and loved, all at the same time! And on a totally different note: Apparently we are back to the drawing board with names. H informed me he wasn't crazy about Dayleigh. Personally I think the next time he pushes a baby out of HIS vagina he can name it whatever in the hell he wants to name it, but I guess that wouldn't be very nice of me. So.....Baby C is unnamed yet again! :(

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