Tuesday, July 27, 2010


I am constantly amazed at the crap that's on television. I call it "crap" because most of it is so ridiculous and mind-numbing even I can't believe I watch it. But watch it I do! And on top of that, I could spend hours commenting and discussing the lives of these people that I only know through the comfort of my flat screen. It is a disease! A drug! An addiction!

And I love it.

My must-see TV is generally focused on Bravo. I am a sucker for any type of reality show that doesn't revolve around singing, dancing, surviving, racing, raising sextuplets, or really any sort of talent at all. I prefer the good 'ol fashioned reality shows about absolutely nothing. I guess this can be traced to the fact that I'm not really talented enough to make a show like American Idol, and I'm certainly not fit enough to do something like Survivor. But thankfully I can down a cocktail and be entertaining!

Case in point: The Real Housewives of _________________ (insert random US city here)

Currently I am enthralled with TRH of New Jersey. Those chicks crack me up! First of all, we have Danielle, who (allegedly) used to be high-class (and I use that word loosely, no pun intended) call girl and might have helped someone kidnap someone in the past. I am a little frightened by this botoxed nutjob, but I must admit I wouldn't mind drinking some wine on her porch! Jacqueline is pretty normal as far as reality show stars go, but her daughter needs a serious attitude adjustment. I'm not a mom, but I can promise you my kid won't be talking to me like that and driving a brand-new Range Rover. Theresa is my fave--I love the relationship she and her hubby have. She always tries to sound intelligent by using big words and cliches but usually ends up saying something like "pot calling the kettle old." Caroline is the mama, and offers great advice from the safety of her kitchen. Her family seems like one that I would like to be friends with. They even play the "Ham Game" which is where they throw ham at each other when the other person leasts expects it. We play "The Pants Game" at my house which thankfully does not involve ham at all, but I'm thinking maybe H and I should add this to our list of ways to drive each other insane.

For some reason it seems like I'm forgetting someone, but I guess if you're on a reality show and nobody remembers you, you're probably not worth mentioning at all.

Why oh why can't Bravo come calling for "The Real Housewives of Mobile"!? Idon't have a huge house or an unlimited budget, which may be the only two requirements to be on a reality show. Now that I think about it, no one would really be interested in a show about me buying dishwashing liquid at the Dollar General. Or getting the oil changed in my Murano.

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